Short and Funny Jokes Adults Will Understand and Enjoy

Get ready to crack up with these hilarious jokes for grown-ups! Whether you’re looking for clean humor, dirty jokes, or just some good old-fashioned witty one-liners, this collection of funny jokes for adults has something for everyone. 

Let’s dive right in and get the laughs rolling with adult-friendly jokes that’ll have you chuckling in no time.

1. Hilarious Jokes for Adults

Adult humor is often clever and unexpected, and these jokes will do just that! Prepare for some lighthearted laughs that only grown-ups can truly appreciate.

• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!

2. Clean Adult Humor

Who says adult jokes can’t be clean? These quips are totally family-friendly, but still perfectly hilarious for grown-ups.

• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on… but then it clicked.
• I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• I had a nightmare that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.
• I’m a huge fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable!
• If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
• I’m really good at my job as a banker. I’m always making deposits of good vibes.
• I used to be a shoe salesman, but I just couldn’t get a leg up in the business.

3. Dirty Jokes for Grown-ups

These jokes have a little bit more edge, and they’re not for the faint of heart! If you’re looking for dirty one-liners for adults, these will do the trick.

• I’m reading a book on reverse psychology. Don’t bother buying it.
• I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?
• I was going to tell a joke about a pencil, but it’s pointless.
• My girlfriend told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That was a big step forward.
• You know you’re getting old when you bend down to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
• I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger, but then it hit me.
• My friend tried to annoy me with bird puns… but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.

4. One-liner Jokes for Adults

Short and sweet, these one-liners are punchy enough to get you giggling without even needing a setup. Perfect for witty jokes for grown-ups!

• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
• I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
• I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
• You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
• I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
• I’m trying to lose weight, but it’s not working. I’m on a see-food diet.
• I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

5. Short Humorous Jokes for Adults

Need a quick laugh? These short, sharp jokes will do the trick! Short humorous jokes for adults can deliver a punchline right when you need it most.

• I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on… but then it clicked.
• If I were a vegetable, I’d be a cute-cumber.
• I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It’s a complex complex complex.
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m just prioritizing my relaxation.
• I’m on a diet, so I only eat things that are really good for me, like cookies.
• I’m no good at math, but I can count on you.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it.

6. Jokes Adults Will Laugh At

Some jokes just hit differently when you’re an adult. These are the ones that will make you snicker and roll your eyes at the same time!

• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• I couldn’t figure out why I was always tired. Then I realized I was a sleepwalker.
• I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
• I wonder if I could just go to the beach and scream. It’d be a sand-sational experience.
• I had a friend who was a magician. He disappeared from my life like Houdini, but it was more because he was bad at his job.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
• Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
• I once got into a fight with a broken pencil. It was pointless.
• I never trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.

7. Comical Adult Humor

The grown-up world can get pretty absurd sometimes, and these jokes capture that perfectly. Prepare for some hilariously funny adult jokes!

• I used to be afraid of commitment, but now I’m afraid of not finding someone to share my pizza with.
• My wife and I have an agreement: I get to tell jokes, and she gets to pretend they’re funny.
• I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was collecting dust!
• If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? Absolutely, it sounds like this: “Help! I’m falling!”
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
• My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
• I gave up jogging for a while, but I guess I’m back on track.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
• I don’t understand people who do yoga. They’re so bent out of shape!

8. Witty Jokes for Grown-ups

These witty jokes are sure to get your brain working and your laughter flowing. Perfect for anyone who loves a clever turn of phrase or a joke with a bit of a zing!

• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
• I couldn’t figure out why I was always tired. Then I realized I was a sleepwalker.
• I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it.
• I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.

9. Funny Short Jokes for Adults

Sometimes, brevity really is the soul of wit. Here are some short humorous jokes for adults that pack a punch without taking up too much time!

• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
• I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on… but then it clicked.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
• My wife and I have an agreement: I get to tell jokes, and she gets to pretend they’re funny.
• I’m no good at math, but I can count on you.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

10. Laugh-out-Loud Adult Jokes

Sometimes you just need a good laugh, and these laugh-out-loud adult jokes are guaranteed to do the trick. From puns to witty punchlines, prepare for some belly laughs!

• I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger, but then it hit me.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
• I’m really good at my job as a banker. I’m always making deposits of good vibes.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
• I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
• I’m on a diet, so I only eat things that are really good for me, like cookies.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

11. Clever Funny Jokes for Adults

Clever humor is where it’s at! These clever funny jokes for adults will make you chuckle while making you think just a little. Here’s a selection of puns, wordplay, and good-natured humor.

• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I couldn’t figure out why I was always tired. Then I realized I was a sleepwalker.
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
• I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
• I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• I was going to tell a joke about a pencil, but it’s pointless.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

12. Adult Friendly Jokes

If you’re looking for something everyone can enjoy, these adult-friendly jokes have the right balance of humor that’s safe, yet still funny enough to make you laugh.

• I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
• I’m no good at math, but I can count on you.
• I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger, but then it hit me.
• I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on… but then it clicked.
• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
• I’m really good at my job as a banker. I’m always making deposits of good vibes.
• I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m just prioritizing my relaxation.
• I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.

13. Hilariously Funny Adult Jokes

Sometimes, the funniest jokes are the ones that come out of nowhere. These hilariously funny adult jokes will have you shaking your head and laughing all at once.

• I decided to become a professional mirror cleaner. It’s something I can really see myself doing.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• I’m reading a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it.
• I wonder if I could just go to the beach and scream. It’d be a sand-sational experience.
• I’m no good at math, but I can count on you.
• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
• I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

14. Dirty One-liners for Adults

Sometimes, a little bit of cheeky humor is just what you need. These dirty one-liners for adults are fun and a bit edgy—definitely for the grown-up crowd!

• My wife and I have an agreement: I get to tell jokes, and she gets to pretend they’re funny.
• I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• My girlfriend told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That was a big step forward.
• I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I used to be a magician, but I couldn’t pull it off.
• I once got into a fight with a broken pencil. It was pointless.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

15. Coronavirus Jokes for Adults

It’s been a wild time for everyone, and sometimes a little humor helps us cope. These coronavirus jokes for adults are lighthearted takes on the current situation.

• I used to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.
• I’m not saying I’m a germaphobe, but I’m currently afraid of my own reflection.
• What’s the best way to avoid a virus? Stay inside and watch Netflix for 48 hours straight.
• Social distancing: because everyone needs a little personal space, especially me!
• I’m not sure what’s worse, the pandemic or trying to figure out what day it is.
• Quarantine day 13: I miss people. I miss conversations. I miss that weird guy in the elevator.
• Just found out that the hardest part of quarantine is not eating the entire pizza in one sitting.
• How’s quarantine going? I’ve made two trips to the fridge, but nothing else today.
• I think we should all just take a step back and realize… we’ve been living in a very peculiar episode of “The Twilight Zone.”

16. Seriously Funny Adult Humor

Sometimes, humor that’s deep but still funny is just what you need. These seriously funny adult jokes will make you laugh and think!

• I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing.
• The other day I held the door open for a clown. It was a nice jester.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
• I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

17. Good Jokes for Grown-ups

These good jokes for grown-ups are the perfect way to keep a smile on your face no matter the day. Enjoy some straightforward humor with just the right amount of edge!

• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I decided to become a professional mirror cleaner. It’s something I can really see myself doing.
• I’m on a diet, so I only eat things that are really good for me, like cookies.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• I’m really good at my job as a banker. I’m always making deposits of good vibes.
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.
• I wonder if I could just go to the beach and scream. It’d be a sand-sational experience.

18. Hilarious One-liners for Adults

One-liners are the perfect way to squeeze in a joke and keep the mood light. Here are some hilarious one-liners for adults to keep you laughing.

• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on… but then it clicked.
• I wonder if I could just go to the beach and scream. It’d be a sand-sational experience.
• I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
• I don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!

19. Stupid but Funny Adult Jokes

Sometimes, the best humor comes from the silliest jokes. These stupid but funny adult jokes will have you laughing simply because they don’t make sense—and that’s exactly what makes them great!

• I once got into a fight with a broken pencil. It was pointless.
• I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
• I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
• I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
• I’m really good at my job as a banker. I’m always making deposits of good vibes.
• I’m no good at math, but I can count on you.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
• I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats.

20. Really Funny Jokes Adults Will Love

If you’re looking for the perfect really funny jokes adults will love, you’ve come to the right place. These jokes will have you and your friends laughing until your stomachs hurt.

• I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m just prioritizing my relaxation.
• I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
• I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
• I used to be a magician, but I couldn’t pull it off.
• I wonder if I could just go to the beach and scream. It’d be a sand-sational experience.
• My wife and I have an agreement: I get to tell jokes, and she gets to pretend they’re funny.
• I don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!

Final Word

There’s nothing quite like a good laugh to brighten your day, and these hilarious adult jokes are the perfect way to keep things light. Whether you prefer clever one-liners or more offbeat humor, humor is a great way to connect, relieve stress, and add a little joy to life. 

So, go ahead-share a joke, spread the laughter, and enjoy the moments of humor that make life just a bit more fun!